Pushing Through Life's Hardest Moments
Vol. 12 No. 2
Editorial by ISM Staff
They say life isn’t always a bed of roses. Well, I can certainly vouch for that. In fact, sometimes it can be downright brutal. But, just because life doesn’t always flow smoothly doesn’t mean our careers can be put on hold—especially when what we do involves the lives of children. Sometimes we need to reach down into our depths, find what strength is left in our reservoir, and push on.
As a writer, I have the advantage of heading to my keyboard and purging my thoughts, fears, and tears onto a blank document. It’s my way of clearing my head for the day ahead. Sometimes I share these written realizations, but more often than not I just save them to my electronic journal. It’s my creative release. However, not of all of us are writers. Releasing tension, fear, pain, anxiety, (insert your own noun here), in order to get through your day is something you need to find that works best for you.
I’ve done some research to see how others deal with life’s hard moments. Prayer, meditation, exercise, and busy work seem to be the Internet’s secrets to overcoming hardships. But again, these won’t work for everyone. I don’t doubt that some of you reading this have no desire to head to the gym when you’re feeling blue, and I know personally that when my head’s spinning, meditation is one of the hardest exercises to endure. So, I’ve dug a little further into the search results and come up with a few tips that will hopefully offer some possibilities for all personality types.
Confide in someone. Opening up about your troubles doesn’t come easy to everyone. Again, for me personally, I would rather torment my keyboard and hard drive than burden a friend or a co-worker. But, there is great relief in getting what’s weighing you down off your shoulders. Talking does help. It’s not about looking to others for answers or empathy. Sometimes just speaking your troubles out loud, hearing your own voice define them, helps you release some of the grief. And, if the person you choose to talk to about your life moment does have a positive perspective, then you’ve gained not only release but also a new way of looking at your troubles.
Plan time to “mourn.” You probably think that wallowing in your pain is the opposite of how you should push through any situation. Actually, it might be just what you need. Make a date with yourself to feel what it is you’re bottling up. Pick a time, say 5 p.m. to 6 p.m., when you’ll do nothing else but face and sort through (or come to terms with) what it is that’s bothering you. Make a deal with yourself to not let it affect you until then—that you’re going to face it from 5 to 6, but until then you’re not going to allow it to consume your thoughts.
Ask yourself “And so?” I learned this trick a few years ago when I was trying to overcome my phobia of fire. I don’t know where this fear came from or why it suddenly started haunting my commutes, but one day as I was driving home, all I could think about was what if my house was on fire as I turned down the street. It became such a real fear that I actually started checking news reports before leaving the office and altered my route so I could see what was happening in the neighborhood before I made it to my street. Crazy, right? I had to break the cycle! It was interfering with my life and I knew it had to stop before it paralyzed me. So, I started asking myself “and so” as I was driving. What would be the worst thing if I did come home and found fire trucks and chaos? I would lose my material things sure, but again, “and, so?” I can replace those things. “And, so?” My insurance would help me rebuild. “And, so?” Life would go on. See how that works? You keep going through the possibilities until you realize that there is a bright side, or at least another side that’s bearable. It’s helpful to remind yourself that no matter what you’re facing—death, divorce, financial hardship, illness—there is always something better waiting on the other side of the pain.
Just look at the facts. It’s so easy for us as emotional beings to jump to conclusions. We take a stern e-mail from our boss and play it out that we’re treading on thin ice, or process a comment that was intended to be innocent as something dreadful. Step back from the situation and just absorb the facts. Don’t allow outside issues to pollute what’s happening in the office. Things might be difficult outside the office, but that doesn’t mean that everything is crumbling.
Do something kind for someone. This is one of my favorite tactics for overcoming hardships. It’s all too easy to spread misery when you’re hurting. Break the cycle! No matter what you’re facing in your personal life, by doing something kind for someone else, you’ll actually feel better yourself. It doesn’t have to be a large act of generosity—sometimes the smallest tokens of kindness mean the most.
Laugh. It’s not always easy to find humor through pain—but, trust me, it’s there. Watch a sitcom, find a funny YouTube video, take a few minutes and read the funnies, search for funny images, remember something that always makes you smile … you see where I’m going with this. Even if the joy you feel from this is brief, it can be enough to push you through your day productively.
Honor your feelings. If I haven’t already made this clear, the best thing you can do for yourself, your family, and your career during life’s hardest challenges is honor yourself and what you’re feeling. Don’t bottle your feelings up and try to ignore what you’re feeling, but don’t allow these moments to take over your world, either. Acknowledge what you’re going through, know that others have been where you are, and have the courage that you’ll get through this moment just as you’ve gotten through other tricky moments. It’s not always easy to face your own vulnerability, but in the end, you’ll be a stronger person for appreciating and respecting your struggles.
Additional ISM articles of interest
ISM Monthly Update for Admission Officers Vol. 7 No. 6 Top Five Best Foods To Feed Your Mind
Private School News Vol. 9 No. 2 Self-Harming Students: It’s Not Trendy—It’s Addictive
Private School News Vol. 10 No. 6 Exercise Your Mind