Think back to a time when a colleague has made a suggestion or a statement that you were certain was completely inaccurate and would derail a conversation, project, or meeting. You knew that, if left uncorrected, the process will become confused and muddled. At the same time, if you simply said, "Jesse, you're wrong," it would cause sparks to fly. So today, we'll talk about how you can correct someone without a fireworks-worthy display of temper.
- Pick your battles. You have a limited number of times you can say "you're wrong"—even politely!—before you start alienating your fellow workers. Save your criticism for times that it really matter, such as when making major purchases or before someone is hired. If it's just a petty annoyance or a personal preference, let it go.
- Choose your time and place. Okay, so you've decided that you need to address this issue because you're certain he/she is incorrect and it will negatively impact the school. Sometimes, you'll have to make an immediate correction to avoid a process from proceeding down the wrong path. But, if possible, see if such correction can wait until you pull him/her aside and offer your criticism privately.
- Be honest. Occasionally, the person you're trying to correct will give you an opening. "Does that make sense?" or "What do you think?" are common phrases people will throw out when they request for others' input. Don't let these moments pass by! You'll do the individual a disservice if you merely nod instead of getting the project or process back on the right footing.
- Avoid personal attacks. Someone can be wrong without being ignorant, so phrasing corrections becomes paramount to avoid those fireworks. Try "The report was unclear about X,Y, and Z" instead of "You didn't double-check your sources."
- Help fix it. Don't tell a person that he/she is wrong without offering a solution. Suggest possible variations on the person's original perspective that might resolve the conflict. If you can't think of an immediate solution, offer to help develop one.
- Admit your own mistakes. People can take criticism and correction better from those who can admit their own foibles—and work to overcome them. It's not a sign of weakness to confess those times when you struggle, and you can inspire others with your work to overcome your personal obstacles.
Additional ISM resources:
ISM Monthly Updates for Division Heads Vol. 12 No. 6 Constructive Criticism 101
ISM Monthly Update for Division Heads Vol. 9 No. 1 Management by Walking Around, Coaching by Asking Questions, and Other Tips for Division Heads
ISM Monthly Update for School Heads Vol. 10 No. 9 Coaching the Coaches and Mentors
ISM Monthly Update for Human Resources Vol. 10 No. 5 Constructive Conversations, Coaching, and Mentoring
Additional ISM resources for Gold Consortium members:
I&P Vol. 38 No. 12 ISM's Relational Coaching Model
