Nerves show up when we least need them. Presentations, conversations with parents, meetings with donors—nervousness kills confidence and interrupts the flow of rational thoughts. The next time you feel anxiety popping up, beat it back with these tips.
Give your hands something to do—discreetly.
Nerves sometimes manifest in fidgeting, from hand gestures to pacing to fiddling with the lay of your clothing. Anxieties that surface this way can distract listeners from your message.
Recent research shows, however, that fidgeting can be biologically beneficial, according to Karen Pine, "gesturing" specialist and psychology professor at the University of Hertfordshire. In one study, she and fellow researchers found that students who were able to move their hands while answering questions gave correct responses more often than those who kept still.
So channel your open fidgeting and gesturing into productive and nondistracting alternatives. Move your hands when answering a question, certainly, but keep them around your abdomen and away from your face. When you feel the urge to tug on your clothing, discreetly redirect your energies to a small object that won’t draw attention—a paperclip in a pocket works well, as does a pen. (Make sure it’s not a “clickable” pen, otherwise you’ll destroy any chance at serenity!)
Ask yourself why.
When you’re nervous before a situation, try to determine why. Contextualizing your anxiety is the first step in resolving it.
- “There’s a lot riding on this.” An important presentation or meeting places undue pressure on us to be flawless. As humans, however, we’re at a distinct disadvantage: None of us is perfect. Remember that you’re human, as are the people to whom you’re speaking. Everyone has erred in big and small ways in their lifetimes, and they will be more accepting of your (inevitable) mistakes if you take them in stride.
- “I don’t know how this will turn out.” Fear of the unknown causes many to freeze on the spot. These nerves can turn a perfectly eloquent individual into a silent statue—a deadly state of affairs in many a situation. If you find yourself with this thought repeating in your mind, tell yourself to "stop it!" and focus on the known variables rather than dwelling on the unknown. There’s nothing you can do to affect the unknown, and considering them does nothing but spin your mind into an unmanageable tizzy. Think instead on what you do know, whether it’s your presentation outline or how previous conversations have gone over. Take confidence in your knowledge, and be ready to add to your mental notes to decrease the uncertainty for next time.
- “I don’t know what I’ll do.” Nerves hit especially hard for those procrastinators trying to “wing” a conversation or presentation because they think it’s “casual” and so requires less preparation. To calm yourself in the immediate situation, again, remind yourself of what you do know, even if that’s just the end goal.
Breathe.
Next time you feel yourself become nervous, take stock of your breathing. Quick, shallow breaths, for example, are a result of your sympathetic nervous system kicking into high gear. In stressful situations, your body can unconsciously shift into its “combat stations” mode, dampening normal processes to generate the fast responses necessary for your body to “survive.”
Deep breathing, on the other hand, triggers the parasympathetic nervous system in your body, responsible for maintaining your “normal” state. Purposefully slowing your breathing can reset your body from feeling like it’s about to fight for its life to its regular alertness. Dr. Richard Brown and Dr. Patricia Gerbarg, authors of The Healing Power of Breath, write that if you’re looking to reduce stress and anxiety, practicing “coherent breathing” at a rate of five breaths per minute might better your body’s reaction to stress.
Additional ISM resources:
ISM Monthly Update for Business Officers Vol. 7 No. 9 Stop Doubting Yourself
ISM Monthly Update for Business Officers Vol. 9 No. 2 Managing Stress 101
Additional ISM resources for Gold Consortium members:
I&P Vol. 36 No. 2 Understanding Faculty Culture Differences Across School Divisions
